Friday, July 03, 2009
Happy 4th of July
Today I have a hair appointment and a pedicure planned. Haven't decided on the toe color yet. Am thinking something funky and fun. Maybe a Red/White/Blue combo.
Maybe I'll just do purple.
Or red. Bright, bright red.
I dunno. I really liked my Lizard Green toes and got loads of compliments on them. But it's time to change things up.
Suggestions?
To my American friends, happy holiday.
To my Canadian friends, happy belated Canada day.
Party on, Wayne.
Labels: friends, holidays, toes
posted by Mel Francis @ 8:43 AM |
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Thursday, July 02, 2009
SPAM: it's not just for breakfast anymore
Spam is also junk email.
For some reason, this morning it struck me as funny that junk email was called Spam and I wondered why. So I did a little digging. Maybe this is public knowledge and I've just been out of the loop, but now I know.
It seems that the term Spam originated from one of my favorite Monty Python skits. You know, the Spam skit where the vikings sing "spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, Wonderful spam!" over and over again? Yes, well, apparently the meaning derived from that.
Something that keeps repeating and repeating to great annoyance.For the story on how the term originated, go here.
What brought this on today? My new favorite Spam subject line.
"Read this or you're gay."
That's right. If I didn't read the email, I would turn gay. What's a girl like me to do? Oh the dilemma.
I hit delete. So now what?
posted by Mel Francis @ 7:25 AM |
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Wednesday, July 01, 2009
who the hell is they?
'They' sure say a lot.
Let's discuss.
Things 'they' say:
Out of sight out of mind.So which is it? Does anyone know? Apparently 'they' don't.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Life's a bitch.Do 'they' just cover their ass with these cliches? How does this work?
Life's a bowl of cherries.
Stick it in your ear.Apparently 'they' have a thing about sticking it but 'they' can't make up their mind where.
Stick it where they son don't shine.
Money is the root of all evil.Okay, so if money is the root of all evil, then it stands to reason that money can't buy you happiness. However, if money makes the world go around, then one would reason that it could also buy you happiness and that it is NOT the root of all evil. Again, 'they' confuse me.
Money makes the world go around.
Money can't buy you happiness.
Laughter is good for the soul.'They' definitely got this one right.
posted by Mel Francis @ 7:20 AM |
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Tuesday, June 30, 2009
a walk to remember (NOT the book)
That sucked.Good to know, but too bad.
Anyway, while I was walking and he was whining, we passed a section of woods that nearly knocked me over with memories. I smelled wild grapes and muscadines. (BTW, my spell check doesn't recognize the word muscadine. WTF?)
Growing up, we had a small orchard with green apple, plum, peach, pear and loads of pecan trees. And we also had wild grapes growing on the fence of our property. My neighbors grew muscadines.
The smell of that wild fruit yesterday took me back to my childhood immediately. I know memories and smell are strongly connected, but it still shocks me when I'm damn near catapulted back into the 80s.
I used to walk along the fence and pluck the honeysuckle that grew among the grapes. (fresh honeysuckle is still one of my all time favorite smells) The grapes were NEVER any good, but every year I would hope they would be. I don't know how many sour grapes I ate trying to find the one sweet wonder. It never happened, but I never stopped trying.
(Okay, I take that back, I did finally stop trying when I was attacked by a Blue Jay. That stupid bugger wanted me dead. I had to run across 5 acres of land to escape the blue devil. Totally uncool.)
Had my first sip of homemade muscadine wine when I was a teenager. It was so sweet. And my neighbors made muscadine jelly which was fantastic. After the Blue Jay incident, I would sneak over and sit beneath the neighbors' muscadine vines and enjoy the smell because I missed my grapes.
Do you have any old memories attached to smell? Any recent ones?
posted by Mel Francis @ 7:37 AM |
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Monday, June 29, 2009
T-Minus 4 weeks
BITE ME! will be on the shelves 4 weeks from tomorrow.
Can you freaking believe it? I can't.
It's been a long time coming. I sold the book to HarperCollins in 2.5
Explaining that I sold the book but it's not on the shelves yet has become second nature to me. Kinda like saying hello. I've had people ask, "Are you sure you're published?" And I would say, "I've sold the book, it will be published and on the shelves summer 2009."
I can't wait to celebrate. We're having a huge party Sunday August 2nd. If you're in Little Rock or can make it here, you're cordially invited. Email me: tellmel@melissafrancis.net if you're interested in details. I can't believe I'll be signing books soon. My very own book. The one I wrote. The one with my name on the cover. Yup. That one.
4 weeks from tomorrow, little Melissa McKenzie (now Francis) from Bryant, Arkansas, is going to have her first book available for purchase. Who'd a thunk it?
posted by Mel Francis @ 10:02 AM |
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Friday, June 26, 2009
Farrah, Friday, and Fun
In other news, I'm really sad about Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson, but I have to say, I'm really irritated at the media for spending so much time on MJ's death. Farrah battled cancer for three years and did it with dignity and grace. Growing up, I didn't know any girl who didn't wanna be her, and I didn't know any boy who didn't wanna do her.
I stared at this poster every morning for years. I went blond, feathered my hair, and bought a red bathing suit. I never quite got there, but I wanted it.
Most people remember Farrah from Charlie's Angels, but I remember her from Logan's Run. As a matter of fact, I had a Logan's Run beach towel.
RIP Farrah. I'll always be a fan.
Labels: farrah, friends, logan's run, the kids
posted by Mel Francis @ 9:25 AM |
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Thursday, June 25, 2009
wildlife walkabout
Last night I went for a walk with @jennchristman down by the river. Instead of just walking back and forth on the Big Dam(n)Bridge, we kept going into Burns Park along the banks of the Arkansas River. It was a gorgeous night (see sunset pic for proof) and even though it was a little humid, it wasn’t unbearable. Besides, humidity is good for the skin. Why do you think I look so hot at 40?As we were solving the world’s problems (for example: Rachel Ray needs a new stylist in a major way, Rock of Love was totally underrated, and we should all talk like Caroline from Real Housewives of NJ) there was a rustling in the high grass over to our left.
It was a tiny little thing rustling around and at first I thought it was a puppy. As I approached the little animal, I quickly saw the shock of white down the middle of its black fur. No, this was not Rover, it was Pepe Le Pew.
“Back away slowly from the skunk. I don’t wanna take a tomato juice bath tonight.”
“Seriously? Tomato juice?”
“Yeah. I think. Or lemon. Or maybe it’s vinegar. I dunno. I just don’t wanna bathe in whatever it is you have to. Skunk Funk is not a fragrance I’m willing to try.”
“I’ve never seen one live. I mean seriously, they’re all dead and stinking up the roadways.”
“I’ve never seen one not in a zoo.”
After 45 minutes, we turn around and go back toward the bridge. Our conversation has moved toward more serious topics like the pros and cons of saving some calories for booze instead of cutting out booze all together, Jazzercise is still alive and kicking, weight training and the hot dudes who offer to ‘spot you,’ and how to get rid of the world of all mean people. (We have a plan, so if you’re mean, get ready.)
That’s when the attack started. Out of nowhere these stupid giant horseflies started dive-bombing us. One hit me in the ear and I’m pretty sure I have hearing loss as a result. They quickly left me alone though and started chasing Jenn. I guess she smells sweeter than me because they were all about her. There were three of them, all were huge, at least an inch long, and landing on her back and buzzing her head. Finally I told her to hand me her awesome ROCK OF LOVE baseball hat and let me swat them. I defended her honor. I was her white knight. I’m officially the butch in our friendship. That’s okay with me. I'm the cutest butch ever.
“I hate nature.”
“No you don’t.”
“I totally hate nature.”
“Shut up.”
“Tell me you hate nature, too.”
“Nope. I love it. I could pitch a tent right here, and pee in the woods.”
“You totally are the butch.”
About five minutes later, there was another rustling and a group of folks was gathered around a tree. I thought maybe it was an Opossum but no. It was an armadillo.
“I really hate nature.”Our walk was an hour and a half long and apparently sponsored by Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.<--and if you don’t get that reference, I’m too old or you’re too young. I’m going with the latter.
“Seriously! We’ve seen two animals LIVE that
usually we only see dead. That’s awesome.”
“Nature sucks.”
Labels: exercise, friends, wtf
posted by Mel Francis @ 10:21 AM |
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Happy 4th of July
SPAM: it's not just for breakfast anymore
who the hell is they?
a walk to remember (NOT the book)
T-Minus 4 weeks
Farrah, Friday, and Fun
wildlife walkabout
ack!
totally manic
Jr Chef
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