Sunday, December 24, 2006
merry holidays
I'll try to post again before Wednesday--but no promises.
Hope you all have a great holiday!
posted by Mel Francis @ 1:57 PM |
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Thursday, December 21, 2006
intellectual fat
I'm not exactly sure what intellectual fat is, but apparently my youngest son has it. He said it's the stuff right under his eyes.Intellectual fat sounds pretty special. I decided right then and there if I was gonna be fat, I should most definitely be intellectually fat.
What purpose does intellectual fat serve?
Let's explore.
First off, if intellectual fat is only located beneath your eyes, then I think its purpose is obvious. Skinny people don't have intellectual fat. That's what they get for being skinny. So when they age, they get wrinkled. Those of us intellectually fat folks will not wrinkle and therefore we will look better than the skinnies. Intellectually fat folks age like fine wine.
Now, if intellectual fat can be located in other spots, then we must investigate.
Consider the possibility that intellectual fat could be located around the brain. Does that serve as a natural helment for those who refuse to wear one? Or does it feed the brain to make intellectually superior people? I'm gonna go with #2 because frankly, people who refuse to wear a helmet can't possibly have any intellectual fat anywhere in their system.
If intellectual fat is around the ass, then is that really very intellectual? What purpose does the intellectually fat ass serve? I suspect that's where mine has landed--maybe if I sit on it a while, the reason will come to me.
posted by Mel Francis @ 7:29 AM |
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Monday, December 18, 2006
survivor
I admit it...Survivor is a guilty pleasure. (so is daytime television, but that's another post)So, last night, I curled up on my sofa with a big-ass bowl of popcorn and a nice glass of Merlot (betcha didn't know popcorn and Merlot went well together, huh?) and watched the season finale.
I can honestly say, I was floored when Yul won. Not because I didn't like Yul--I did. But honestly, I think Ozzy outplayed him. The whole purpose is to be the "Sole Survivor" and Yul wouldn't have gotten to the end without Becky. She worked it behind the scenes and he worked it in camp...but she played an equal part in Yul's planning. They were a team. And she didn't get one vote.
In my mind, Ozzy was the clear winner. He saved himself from being voted off in the beginning. He worked his ass off providing food for the tribes and he won EVERY challenge. He was the one who HAD to win to make it to the end...because he was the biggest threat.
And yet, he lost the mil by 1 vote.
I really don't get it. I truly liked Yul and in the beginning I was rooting for him. But by the end of the season there was no doubt in my mind who should win.
posted by Mel Francis @ 9:02 AM |
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Saturday, December 16, 2006
happy birthday, fishdog!
Today's my beloved's bday.
We're gonna spend it eating pizza, drinking beer, and going to the movies. Then we'll come home and have more beer and probably watch more movies.
And maybe I'll kick his ass later when we fire up the Unreal Tournament.
Should be a good time.
Everyone pop over and wish the Fishdog a happy day.
posted by Mel Francis @ 10:34 AM |
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Wednesday, December 13, 2006
speechless
I heart this story.*
I'd like to introduce y'all to the mother of the year...
SCOTTSDALE - A mother faces child endangerment charges after a valet calledHmmm. Where do I begin?police to report she left her 2-year-old son alone in her BMW while she shopped at Scottsdale Fashion Square.
Gardenia Zakrzewski-Johansson was arrested in the mall parking lot outside Neiman Marcus after valets watched her walk into the store with a small dog under her arm, directing them to watch her car with the child inside.
First off, I never realized valet parking also doubled as a babysitter. That's a bargain. I wish I would've known that when my spawn were younger. Now they can stay by themselves without it being considered child abuse (for the most part) but damn, I completely missed out on some major shopping opportunities when they were just wee beasties.
And can we discuss the fact that she left the kid in the car and took the dog into the store? How awesome is that?
Who does this shit?
All I have to say is, thank the gods that woman isn't from the south. We're already misunderstood enough as it is...we don't need help from dipshits like her.
*Many thanks to my friend Lu for providing the link. You rock my world, chica!
posted by Mel Francis @ 1:30 PM |
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the meeting...
Surprise, surprise.
Not one supervisor spoke. Nope. Only two of the five were there, standing in the very back hoping to be incognito...and they were until one of the constituents called him out. That was a pretty funny moment, actually.
One of the non-elected county officals spoke and tried to help us understand their reasoning. He said he believes they asked for more time because the voters voted down the first attempt a year ago.
Um. NOT the same thing. The first attempt was a 9.5 million dollar complex with a 4 mil increase for 20 years. Now, I voted for it, but many didn't because county property taxes had just gone up. And frankly, if they had known it was THIS OR NOTHING I guarantee you, the outcome woulda been different.
The new initiative is taking 150K from the current budget and it is NOT raising anyone's taxes.
NO. BRAINER.
APPLES and ORANGES.
And that's when I spoke up. I told him they were two different things and that people felt like the supervisors went into the meeting with their minds already made up and they were using the former inititave as an excuse.
Seems like everyone agreed. Lots of "Yeahs" and "That's right". Maybe even an "amen" or two. Almost like church.
Speaking of church...I was beginning to be proud of the room for sticking to the issues and not bringing God into it, when someone finally broke the ice. Now, I'm not against prayer and church and God, etc...but come on folks, this is a city/county meeting over a Sportscomplex. I really think God has more important things on her plate right now than worrying about Lafayette county ball fields. But we did get a few "Y'all is in my prayers." and "I try to be Godly in my decisions, the supervisors should try that, too." But that was toward the end of the meeting. Small towns, gotta love them.
My favorite quote of the night was: "The people who ain't for this are gonna be the first people to complain when the kids are doing drug cuz they ain't got nothin' better to do."
and
"When you're pointin' fingras (fingers) you might wanna take a second to look at the three fingras pointin' right back at you."
I knew nothing would be solved last night, but I really wanted the Supervisors to hear from their constituents. And the two who showed up, did. As they hid in the back and didn't step forward to explain themselves, I have to wonder, did they LISTEN and LEARN?
posted by Mel Francis @ 7:53 AM |
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Monday, December 11, 2006
i'm (locally) famous!
Snort.
Parental concernsAnd my friend Andrea (with her last name spelled incorrectly) was quoted just below me...
Melissa Francis lives in the city limits so her children will continue to participate in OPC activities, but her two boys will have to face losing some of their teammates. Francis, who is a volunteer with the OPC, has also been vocal about the situation, commenting on Ward 6 Alderman Jon Fisher’s blog.
“The whole thing should’ve been a no brainer on the part of the county supervisors. Sadly, now all the kids will suffer. This is a community issue people. Not a city vs. county issue,” Francis wrote.
“It’s truly sad that the aldermen were put into such a tough position, but I support their decision. It just breaks my heart to know that so many kids won’t get to participate in January. This could’ve been avoided and I honestly hope the supervisors will remember who they really work for and make this right before there is a fracture in this community that is too big to repair.”
Like other parents, one of Francis’ biggest concerns is what this is going to do to the programming of activities in OPC and the remaining kids.
Andrea Jekobsons said the decision is holding the kids “hostage.”Okay, so there' s a citizens' meeting tomorrow about this whole thing, and you couldn't keep me away. Andrea suggested that I print my quote into a big bubble on a stick and carry it with me as I go. I don't think that'll be necessary. I have no problems expressing my opinions verbally.
“It is not fair because my kids go to the city schools and my 6-year-old son will be in classes with the kids who are able to play,” Jekobsons said. “How do you tell a 6-year-old they can’t play soccer with his friends any more?”
I just have to sensor my language so people will actually LISTEN to what I say. Anyone who is attending, when I'm taking a deep breath, just insert the words "You Assholes" or "you bass-akwards rejects" and you'll be in my head.
posted by Mel Francis @ 6:55 PM |
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remember these days?
For years we've been telling the boys how much fun raking leaves can be. Sure, we were trying to get slave labor out of the deal, but honestly, is there anything more fun than jumping into a pile of leaves?
My kids must be a little slow on the uptake, but they finally figured it out this weekend. Woohoo!
posted by Mel Francis @ 8:35 AM |
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Saturday, December 09, 2006
today's a day for shopping
Since we moved to Oxtopia almost 7 years ago, the only shopping I generally get to do is of the online variety or at War-Mart. And though I can do quite a bit of damage both online and in
My friend and I are headed to Memphis at 7:30 and I can't wait. I miss real shopping. Now, if only I had an unlimited income...
The lurvely Kristen Painter tagged me with the "Four Things" meme and since my last two post prior to this one were about crappy local politics and crappy people posts, I thought I'd lighten up a little.
Four Things
Four jobs I've had:
- Pizza Delivery girl
- After School Coordinator
- Waitress
- Staff Accountant
- Bryant, AR
- Little Rock, AR
- Oxford, MS
- Yes, I'm boring.
- Cheese Dip
- Medium Rare Filet Mignon
- Spinach (not kidding)
- French Toast
Four TV shows I enjoy:
- Brothers and Sisters
- How I Met Your Mother/Two and a Half Men (2 shows, 1 hour...LOL)
- Grey's Anatomy
- Men in Trees
- California
- Florida
- Virginia
- New Jersey (told ya, I'm booooooring)
- U.K.
- Japan
- Alaska
- Fabio Cannavaro
- Google Reader
- RWA Online
- GMAIL
- My Space
posted by Mel Francis @ 6:18 AM |
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Friday, December 08, 2006
FIRE!
Yesterday afternoon started out as normal. Ian had a dentist appointment, so I picked him up from school. He was so excited to finally get the "chain" on his braces. (that excitement went away this morning when he woke up and realized how much his mouth hurt)
So, it was a little after 4:00 when we pulled into our driveway. I hadn't turned the car off yet, when I noticed black smoke billowing up behind the house. It took a second to register before I realized it wasn't someone burning leaves.
I believe my words were. "Holy fuck! That's a fire! That house is on fire! That's a fire!"
Then I listened and heard no sirens. HOLY FUCK! No sirens. Nobody's called yet. Shit!
I dialed 911. Apparently, the next door neighbor had just called. I get out of the car, tell the boys to stay at the house and I run over to the burning home.
It's a big house, 5 bedrooms and a large basement. 5 college boys live there. They're good kids. I was terrified one of them was in the house, but thankfully no. Nobody was home when the fire started.
They got home in time to save the dogs, too. Thank God.
Anyway, I get there as the fire dept. shows up. Watching them fight this blaze was amazing. I've never seen anything like it so close! The fire was alive. It was hideous and beautiful at the same time.
A group of gawkers began to gather. I hadn't seen the boys who live there yet, so I'm looking for them. I'm asking around. The looky-loos all say, "Who? Oh the frat boys? Yeah, I don't know where they are."
"Doesn't anyone care where they are?"
"Well, they're college kids, you know."
"And what does that have to do with the price of tea in china?"
"They drink beer in their carport."
Oh THAT explains it. Damn, I must be one lucky bitch. I can't believe all my houses haven't burst into flames.
At this point I'm totally incensed. What the hell is wrong with people? They stand around watching the boys lose everything to this angry fire and don't even bother to ask if the kids are okay? Because they're students? WTF?
I find the boys. They're scared to death but okay. I give them my information and tell them to call or come by if they need anything...two of the boys hug me. They're grateful to be alive. This could've been much worse.
If one of my boys are ever in a situation like this, I hope someone will remember that even though they drink beer in their carport, they are also someone's son.
posted by Mel Francis @ 7:39 AM |
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Wednesday, December 06, 2006
101.4 and a rant about local politics
I guess that headache he was complaining about was real, huh?
So, the Fishdog and I are switching out today. I'm going in this morning--hoping to accomplish my to do list before I come home after lunch to sit with a sick boy.
He's feeling okay this morning. I usually feel like run over dog crap if I have a 99.1 fever. But he's up and watching tv and sneezing.
Poor thing.
On another note, I'd like to take this time to bitch about the County Supervisors in our area who voted down the Sportsplex for the community. They expect the city to fund the project but want their county families to be able to participate without taking any financial responsiblity. That's what my daddy called gettin' sumpin' for nuttin'. And that dawg don't hunt here, boys.
In response, the City Aldermen voted (7-0) that only city kids will be allowed to participate in 2007 events. What this means is that most likely there will be no basketball and no spring soccer because the county kids make up about 58% of the program. Yeah. that's what I said. They have the majority of kids in the program yet the Supervisors refused to help fund the Sportsplex. Those parents ought to be hoppin' mad.
The only ones to get hurt in all this are the kids. And hell, they don't count do they? They're just kids, after all.
The Fishdog and I are starting to look for programs in Memphis and in Tupelo. I hate the thought of driving an hour or more each way for sports, but you know, it might be for the best. I hate local politics especially over something so damn stupid. This was a no brainer, y'all and y'all screwed the pooch.
What cracks me up is that I was brought up in a small bedroom community outside of Little Rock. (it's not so small now a little bigger than oxford) Anyway, they're a very sportscentric community like Oxford...the only difference is, they've embraced their growth. The city and surrounding communities voted in a multi-million dollar complex that will be state of the art and have both rec and competitive sports available. I never thought the county supervisors would be this closed minded. This area is sports obsessed. What the hell were they thinking?
Okay, sorry to bore y'all with stupid local ignorance. Back to your regularly scheduled blogging.
posted by Mel Francis @ 7:04 AM |
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Sunday, December 03, 2006
men in kilts
Grant graduated from Uni this week--top of his class. Here's a picture of he and his real mum. How handsome is he?
Congrats on your acheivement, Grant.
posted by Mel Francis @ 11:38 AM |
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Saturday, December 02, 2006
fool's ball
And tonight, my little piggies are playing the Florida
Right now, it appears that if we can't beat them, we will at least injure them one by one. Does that make us the Sopranos of football?
I suppose it's a strategy. I guess I really don't care as long as we get the W. (I will say, I don't hope for any real injury...but if you can't come back for the rest of the game, I can live with that...)
Go Hogs. Please beat the
posted by Mel Francis @ 5:24 PM |
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Friday, December 01, 2006
ending the day with mel-o-drama
I'm the worst mother ever.
Yes, dear blog readers, it's true. I simply suck at the motherhood thing. I don't even think I get an A for effort.
My #2 son (#2 in birth order not in preference) wanted to participate in the reading fair. He finished reading Eldest (which is an 8th GRADE level book and only about 1 million pages long). #2 was quite proud, seeing as how he is only 8 YEARS old. (as he should be)
So, as usual with the Francis Family, we waited til the last minute to do our readng board. He and I worked on it together, me all the time thinking "I'm the best mother ever." The board looked fantastic. He was so proud.
The next morning, I send him off to school and let him know that I will bring the board up after school for set up (as the instructions read) Again, I'm thinking, "Wow. He's so lucky to have me as a mom."
Fast forward two hours. I call the school.
School: Best school ever, may I help you?
Me: This is #2's mom (in birth order, not preference) and I'd like to know if I can come by at lunch to set up his reading fair project.
School: Um, Ms. Worst Mom in the World, set up was yesterday. The judging has already been completed.
Me: @#$!
School: Poor #2 son, (obviously in preference and birth order). You are the worst mom ever.
I dread the rest of the day. I dread the phone call I know I'm gonna get that afternoon.
Sure enough the phone call comes.
#1 son (in birth order not in preference): Mom, he's in his room crying.
Me: (sound of heart shattering echos through the building) Crying or pouting?
#1 son (in birth order not in preference): Heaving.
Me: @#$! I'll be right home.
I call my friend Andrea on the way home near tears myself. Nobody wants to let your child down that way...and I felt like I had just crushed him. I had come up with some good ideas on how to make it all better. (most of them had to do with groveling and bribery) I had already decided that we would just save his most excellent poster for next year's fair. Andrea said I should tell him that we weren't a day late, we were 364 days early.
I got home, and hugged my boy tight and said those exact words. He started laughing and said that was a good idea. Then he asked if I could take him to eat cheese dip.
Cheese dip makes everyone feel better. Even the worst mom in the world.
posted by Mel Francis @ 11:16 AM |
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Holiday Movies...you gotta fave?
finding your way
notes from the universe
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just another manic monday
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