Wednesday, January 31, 2007
an open letter
I don't ask for much. Seriously. I mean, I have daydreams about waking up one morning to discover I switched bodies with Beyonce overnight. I fantasize about winning the lotto and having a pool boy. But do I ask for these things?
Nay. I do not.
So, this morning when your minions were predicting 2 inches of snow, I experienced a little tingle of expectation. That tinge of excitement that can only be experienced by a southerner who loves snow.
Loves it, but doesn't want to live in it.
We don't get the white stuff often. I haven't seen it around these parts in 2 years. Not even a hint of it. This morning, your minions said it was coming.
And like a good little southerner, I made sure I stopped by the liquor and grocery stores on my way home. Can't get snowed in without milk, bread and bourbon. Don't you know the rules? Apparently all of Oxford knows the rules...cuz the entire population was in aisle 9 of Kroger with me.
But what do I hear when I get home?
We've been downgraded to "winter weather advisory".
Now, Mother Nature, I ask you this. How is that fair?
I beg you, please let me wake to a white yard and icy streets. I know it won't last, but if it's on the ground in the morning, school will be canceled and I won't have to go to work. (I know, I know. I feel my yankee friends rolling their eyes as I type this. Sorry. But that's how we roll down here. Even just seeing snow clouds can cause some schools to close.)
Don't let me down, sista-gurl. I'd hate to have to send my entourage after you to teach you a lesson. I promise, it wouldn't be pretty. Not nearly as pretty as a white blanket of snow covering my yard.
posted by Mel Francis @ 6:23 PM |
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Tuesday, January 30, 2007
happy birthday to my baby
Frankly, I'm too young to be the mother of a (soon-to-be) teenager and now, a 9 year old.
Happy Birthday, Rader.
posted by Mel Francis @ 9:02 AM |
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Friday, January 26, 2007
little earthquakes
I haven't been inspired by a book in a very, very long time. And I certainly haven't been moved to write an author since I wrote SEP a while back. (no, I did NOT heckle her and make her cry at last year's RWA Conference. No matter what LUCY says...)But I digress...
Little Earthquakes broke my dry spell. What a fantastic and complicated novel. Heartwrenching at times...and laugh out loud funny at others. I'm so envious of Jennifer Weiner's talent. I wanna write like that!
So, I sent her an email this morning. I've officially written three fan letters to authors now. The first one was to Judy Blume, after I read Forever. Then to SEP for Ain't She Sweet. And now, Jennifer Weiner.
Also, tonight I'm running out and buying the two JW books I still haven't read.
Does that make me a fangirl?
posted by Mel Francis @ 9:19 AM |
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Wednesday, January 24, 2007
i had a dream
And I would've enjoyed them, except that they were dreams full of farts. Now, anyone who knows me, knows I have fart issues. I'm not a fan. Do I fart? Sure. Haven't you seen the commercial on Nickelodeon? Everybody farts! Okay, who I'm I kidding, I'm sure you haven't seen that commercial. But suffice it to say, it's funny, and it lets you know that everybody farts.
But I don't care how normal it is to fart...I still don't like them. Fishdog says I have "ass" issues. Whatever.
Anyway, back to my fart dream...in my slumber, my damn kids keep farting. It's a game with them, of course (as it is in real life) and the more irritated I get with them, the more they fart. Loud, juicy farts. In my dream, I keep thinking, "Well, at least they don't smell." Then I wonder why they don't smell...but I digress.
Finally, I woke up about in the wee hours of the morning...and I'm still hearing the farts. COME ON! I'M AWAKE ALREADY. Then I wonder if maybe I'm still asleep. But no, I'm becoming more and more aware of my surroundings. So, why do I still hear the farting?
Because the "farts" are actually my dog's "snores".
Jesus. Say it with me JeeeeeeeeeeeeZuuuuuuuuuuuuuus.
Charlie is the most obnoxious snorer on earth. It's ridiculous. And last night, his snoring sounded like obnoxious farts. No wonder they didn't "smell". LOL
Any of you have a snoring dog? Can you relate? Does his snoring enter your dreams as farting children? Or is that just me?
I really hate farts.
posted by Mel Francis @ 7:48 PM |
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the prodigal blogger returns...
The weekend was lovely and cold. It sleeted Saturday for a while, which sounded wonderful on the tin-roofed deck at my parents lakehouse. For a little while, I bundled up in a quilt and sat outside and just enjoyed the ting and ping above me.
I did get some writing done, but I have to say, it was almost too quiet for me. I'm obviously not one of those hermit wannabe writers who must hide away in a cave in order to be productive. My creativity seems to come on the waves of chaos. Which is a good thing, since at home, it's never quiet.
The Fishdog is off to San Francisco this week. Hope he has a good time. :( the boys and I will hold down the fort while he's gone...but we miss him already.
The chapters and writing loops are all a twitter with excitement about RWA National Conference registration, which opened Monday. I love "Nationals". I get to see my friends, schmooze with my way cool agent and all the way cool chicks at TKA, party with my online chapter, and refill my writing well with the energy I always bring back with me. I think I'm driving this year, since parking isn't gonna be $25 a day. Last year I elected to fly to Atlanta because my airfare was cheaper than the parking and gas would've been!
Any of you gonna be heading to Dallas this year with me? It's not the most exotic of locations, but hell, we rarely leave the hotel anyway, so does the location matter? And this time, we won't be sharing the hotel with the Mary Kay convention. But honestly, that kinda saddens me...the stories we had when we left! Awesome!
Edited to add:
by the way, I left at 2:45 on Thursday. I was sooooo close. :) I didn't have to leave at 2:00 because my committee meeting was cancelled. I drove in anyway because I had already taken the time off and I took that time to see a friend.
Also, I didn't win squat at the horse races. Just didn't have the good gambling juju going on.
posted by Mel Francis @ 7:57 AM |
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Thursday, January 18, 2007
last minute details
For instance, I've known for months now that I was going out of town this weekend. Originally my CPs and I were going together but due to some unforseeable events, we've postponed our group gathering until later. But I'm still going.
Now, I've known that I would need to get the oil changed before I left. Did I do that last week? No. Did I do it during the holidays when I had time off? No. When am I having it done? This morning. When am I leaving? This afternoon.
Apparently a couple of weeks ago we ran over a screw and the driver's side front tire has been leaking air ever since. Have we had it repaired? Um, yes. Today. We're having it repaired today.
Am I packed? Hah!
Do I have my music picked out for the road? Nope.
Have I put a new book on my mp3 player and charged it? Negatory.
And when did I say I was leaving? Today. After lunch.
What am I doing now (besides blogging)? I'm at work--finishing up some stuff here that needs to be done before I leave. Then I guess I'll pick up the car from the shop, (after my dentist appointment of course, because GOD FORBID I make that appointment for another day) then I'll pack, grab the mp3 player and the charger and charge it when I get to the lake. I'm supposed to leave by 2:00...
Taking bets now--will I make my 2:00 departure time?
posted by Mel Francis @ 8:07 AM |
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Wednesday, January 17, 2007
so now what?
Last night I celebrated with a few of my girlfriends in town. We had a great time just catching up and having margaritas--even though it was 24 degrees outside! We pretty much drank with our gloves on...LOL.
I've already had someone I know in town come out and ask
So how much?
Excuse me? How much what?
How much they give you?
I think I was flummoxed. First of all, they didn't "give me" anything. I earned it. Secondly, isn't that poor form? Do you ask everyone you know how much money they make at their job?
Sigh.
I really was surprised when he asked so I kinda sputtered. Thankfully my friend came to my rescue and chastised him for me.
I'd heard that was a common occurance after selling a book, but I guess I just didn't believe it. Were these people born in a barn? My momma always said you're better off talking about politics and religion than you are about money. I think she was right.
Anyway, I'm going out of town tomorrow afternoon and I won't be back until Monday evening. I have my 20 year reunion committee meeting--good lord, 2o years! I have my girls day at the horse races on Friday and then I'm going up to my parents' lakehouse to hibernate and write. No internet, no kids, and really bad tv...which means there will be no distractions.
Woohoo! I can't wait!
posted by Mel Francis @ 9:30 AM |
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Monday, January 15, 2007
the call
Or at least, it will change the writing part of my life...
Because, that call was from my lurvely agent. And lurvely agent, who I heart with all my inside parts, told me that HarperCollins wanted to make me a two book offer.
I thought she was kidding. I mean, we had been waiting for this news all week and it was Friday afternoon, already 5:00 in NY, so surely she was just joking.
Um. Nope. She wasn't.
OMG!
HarperCollins? Seriously?
So, here's a little blurb on the two books:
AJ Ashe isn't a typical seventeen year old vampire. Her ex-boyfriend is now her stepbrother, who, as it turns out, is also warlock. Her two BFFs are in a huge fight and she's caught in the
middle. She's totally framed for cheating on a Lit test. And now, apparently, the fate of humankind lies in her little undead hands. Like that's fair. What ever happened to the good old days when all a vampire girl had to worry about was the occasional zit and hiding her fetish for necks.
The details that I have now are that the first book won't be released until December 2008 or Jan 2009 and the follow up will be about six months later. That seems like forever, but it's a good thing. It gives me plenty of time to produce a quality story.
Now, we writers often dream about what the call means to us. What will we do, what will we think, how we will reward ourselves once it's all said and done...
My immediate reward was a bottle of Veuve Cliquot. Then we went to dinner. I also made calls to my friends and family and then emailed my various writing groups. Then I took a BC Powder before bed so I wouldn't wake with a Champagne headache in the morning.
Remember how I said the call changed my writing life? We writers often think that the call will change every part of our lives...but the next morning, I ate a bowl of cold cereal, had to do the dishes, sweep the floor, sort the laundry and go to Wal-Mart. Sounds glamorous, no? Wanna hear something even more glamorous for this soon-to-be-famous-multi-pubbed author? This morning I had to clean up after a sick kid.
Oh yeah. My life has changed. NOT!
posted by Mel Francis @ 10:00 AM |
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Sunday, January 14, 2007
weather wonderland
Yesterday it was 75 degrees. Today -- 65.
El Nino is having a grand time playing with our minds and our wardrobe.
Oh, well. I'm not complaining. Just think it's strange that just about the rest of the country is buried in snow, and we're wearing shorts.
One more thing...
I have some very good news. Very good news. But I'm thinking I'm gonna be a bitch and not tell you exactly what that news is just yet...
posted by Mel Francis @ 10:32 AM |
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Thursday, January 11, 2007
antonia's bargain
As of about 1 minute ago, I am the proud owner of a brand new book.I was very priveleged to get a chance to read this book before it was published. According to my friend Kate, she even managed to make some improvements on the manuscript after I read it...I'm not sure how that's possible. I guess I'll have to find out.
This book is HOT so I wouldn't recommend sneaking reads at work.
Antonia's Bargain By Kate Pearce
This book is the stand-alone sequel to Eden's Pleasure
Since the suicide of his first wife, Gideon has avoided emotional interactions with women in favor of less emotionally draining liaisons with men. When he unmasks "Anthony" Maxwell and finds he is, in fact, Antonia, he is still sexually intrigued enough to want to bed her. A reluctant heiress, Antonia knows she has to marry but she intends to do it on her own terms—her wealth in return for a husband-free bed.
Gideon offers to help her infiltrate the world of the ton dressed as a man so she can see her potential suitors in their natural habitat. In return, she agrees to allow him to teach her every trick in his sexual repertoire as long as he doesn't take her virginity. Her fear of marriage and pregnancy is a puzzling barrier that Gideon, despite his exceptional skills, finds difficult to penetrate. As they become more scandalously intimate, he has to decide whether to help Antonia face her fears or walk away from the only woman he believes he could ever love.
Reader Advisory: Contains multiple scenes of male and female same-sex erotic interaction.
Buy it here.
posted by Mel Francis @ 8:32 AM |
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Wednesday, January 10, 2007
armed and famous
Some favorite things so far:
- Wee Man. I may have a wee crush. Who knew?
- LaToya at the laundrymat. "I can't get the dollar in." Um, yeah, that's because it only takes coins, chica.
- Poncho farting during one of the training sessions.
posted by Mel Francis @ 7:27 PM |
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Monday, January 08, 2007
Pre-Teen Menstrual Syndrome
This weekend was a roller coaster of ups and downs for the child. We notice it happens more often when he has a friend over--or as we like to call it--an audience.
No matter what we asked him to do, the response was volatile or tear filled.
"Ian, take out the trash please."
Tears hung precariously to his bottom lid. "Why? Why do I have to do everything!! Can't you make him (points to brother) do something besides play the crackboy (Ian's new word for Gameboy)? He never has to do anything when he has friends over."
Sigh.
"Son, just do it. My God. You've spent more time on this production of "The Young and the Useless" than it would've taken to just take out the damn trash."
"UGH! It's so not fair!"
The crocodile tears were then set free. As they rolled in big balls of angst down his sweet freckled cheek, I wondered to myself if maybe my once sweet, almost 13 year old boy, was actually pre-menstrual. I frantically searched for a bottle of Midol--to no avail.
After his friend left, Ian curled up next to me on the couch and we watched Legally Blonde together. He was his sweet, loving self again. Dr. Jekyl had taken a hike.
Do they make a Pre-Teen Menstrual Syndrome pill and can I buy a case?
posted by Mel Francis @ 7:50 AM |
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Wednesday, January 03, 2007
a mélange
Gabrielle wanted to know what reindeer games we played during the holidays. Well, we're a pretty big board game family. When the kids were younger, we made sure we had "game night" at least once a week. We've fallen out of the habit, but I hope we pick it back up again.
Some of our favorites are:
Phase 10 (This is a card game that we love. However, it made it onto the "banned" list for a while because my children are just a wee bit competitive and things became ugly. You see, in this game, you can skip whoever you want to, so imagine how much fun it is to ALWAYS skip your brother...now imagine being that brother. LOL)
Cranium (I SUCK at the humming part. I get so damned tickled I start laughing. Never ask me to be the hummer. And please, get your mind out of the gutter. This is a G rated family blog, thankyouverymuch.)
Sequence
Trivial Pursuit (I am SOOOO angling for TP 80s edition--but I'm afraid the master of all useless knowledge will still kick my ass.)
Scrabble
Yahtzee
These are just a few of the games we play most often.
Now, onto some really good news:
I FINALLY HAVE TIVO! Yes, that's right...I am now a member of the current century. I had so much fun last night watching Sportscenter. Every time they showed the Boise State winning play highlights I would pause it and watch it in slow mo. Rewind, watch it again. OMG. How awesome is that?
Then I recorded my first show and I'm going to watch it today! YAY ME! And it's a show I wanted to see but knew I'd never get to cuz it's on FX! Have y'all see the previews for Dirt? it's looks pretty interesting.
What's going on in your world today?
posted by Mel Francis @ 7:34 AM |
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Tuesday, January 02, 2007
a brand new year
Things I did during the holidays...
Made Christmas dinner for 20 people and lunch the next day for 14
Watched movies:
Eragon: A (if you haven't read the book) B (if you have)
Over the Hedge: B+
Little Miss Sunshine: A (this was a surprisingly touching movie.)
Night at the Museum: B+
Talledega Nights: A (2nd viewing.)
Glory Road: A
Rumor Has it: B (2nd viewing.)
The Family Stone: C- (do NOT get me started on this movie. ugh It gets a C- because it was well acted and it was salvaged by Luke Wilson and SJP)
I'm pretty sure we saw other movies, but those are the ones I can remember.
Consumed copious amounts of alcohol.
Words written: donut hole
books read: 1
Trips planned: 1
Games played: Multiple
Fireworks shot: multiple
Football watched: lots. Damn those hogs.
Yup, that pretty much sums up my holdays. What about you?
posted by Mel Francis @ 8:47 AM |
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Holiday Movies...you gotta fave?
finding your way
notes from the universe
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