Melissa Francis : Bitchin' Fiction!: giving equal time to the dads

Wednesday, December 31, 2008
giving equal time to the dads

I've been commanded to give equal time to the DILF. My friend figured if I can use his conversation as a starting point for a blog, then that gives him the right to demand a blog topic. He also says it's in the friendship guidelines, but he's wrong. I wrote those guidelines, so I know.

I hated to break it to the poor chap, but there is no such thing as a DILF. Teen girls look at all dads and see...well, dads. And that's a big EWWWWWW. Girls don't see the value in the hot older guy until they hit about 25. Then they wake up. And yes, I am fully aware it's a double standard. 18 year old boys look at hot moms and see boobs. That's all their hormonal eyes will let them see. Sorry, Dads. It's not fair. You'll just have to act out your school girl fantasies with the over 20 crowd.

Sadly, I did give away one of the sacred secrets of all womanhood. I have to beg the women of the internetz for forgiveness for breaking the vagina code. I told him about the DID list.

Dad I'd Do

And DID is not a list passed around by horny teens. No. This would be the secret list that every horny PTA mom, soccer mom, homeroom mom, and carpool mom has tabulated.

Yes, there is such a thing as a "Dad I'd Do" list. And now I've broken the vagina code and spilled the beans.

Women of the internetz, will I be forgiven?

And go ahead and confess it...you have a DID list...

Labels: DILF, hot monkey love, naughty

posted by Mel Francis @ 7:22 AM |

6 Comments:

At 12/31/2008 07:58:00 AM, Ms Menozzi said...: Okay, I'm going to have to disagree with you heartily on this one, Mel...

Girls don't see the value of the hot older guy until they hit about 25?!?

Maybe I'm all alone, here, but my biggest crushes in high school were never on the jocks and such (a few on the nerdy/goth/outcast in the corner, sure), but on men old enough to be college professors, at the very least.

When I was 8 I was totally in love with Michael Palin of Monty Python.
Seriously. Love. Big-Time. I wanted to move to England to find him!

My first "celebrity" crush that contained sexual overtones was when I was 12 and he was 25 (Simon LeBon, anyone?). Not enough difference? Okay, how about when I was 16 and desperately willing to do anything a 40-something David Gilmour would ask of me? (That crush lasted until I was 30 years old, btw!)

First real-world crush on an older guy - I was 16 and mad for a teacher at my school who was at least 42. And a dad. The whole package. I was younger than his kids!

Perhaps I'm a sick puppy, then? I dunno...

Ciao!
At 12/31/2008 08:01:00 AM, Mel Francis said...: I can honestly say, I know very few girls today who see the Dads and think "YUM". Unless they have daddy issues, and if that's the case, the dads need to run far, far, away.
At 12/31/2008 08:04:00 AM, Kwana said...: I don't know about crushes on Dad's but I know girls crushed big time on teachers so Dads might make it into the mix too. You may have to rethink this one Mel.

I didn't know about he DID list! Hey I learned something new today. Thanks.
At 12/31/2008 08:10:00 AM, Mel Francis said...: I'm not talking about Teachers, Celebrities, that kinda thing. Just plain old dads. Even if a teacher has a kid, that still puts him in a different light than just one of your friends dads. In order to make this blog equate to yesterday's post, it has to be just dads. And I don't know any teen girl who sees their friends' dads and thinks "I'd do him."
At 12/31/2008 09:20:00 AM, Arkansas Cyndi said...: I cannot think of ONE dad I'd do from my teenage years. Crushes on stars, celebs, etc don't count (IMHO). Just looking at plain old dads. Nope. Not a one. They were all "OLD". (of course, by my age today, they'd all be "YOUNG" - it's all perspective)

I'm afraid I'll have to go with Mel on this one.
At 12/31/2008 09:45:00 AM, Cinde said...: um,no, I agree with Mel. I obsessed about David Cassidy, not some kid's old gross basketball gut dad down the street. I mean, me having the hots for Alex P Keaton's Dad? No thanks! When I was 10 I wanted hot football players, and kid's older brothers. But maybe I just never met any hot dad's, lol