Melissa Francis : Bitchin' Fiction!

LOVE SUCKS! playlist

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 13:02:00 +0000

This has been a music kinda week here at Mel-O-Drama.

So, I try to create a playlist for each book. Sometimes, it's one song that takes me through and sometimes it's a 3 disc compilation.

LOVE SUCKS! is angsty, angry, a little sexy and a whole lotta vampy. There's some sweaty training scenes, some sneaking around, some back-stabbing, a little innuendo...you know, typical teen stuff with fangs added in for fun. Oh, and we can't forget the love triangle.

Here's what I have so far.

Theory of a Deadman: So Happy
Pearl Jam: Even Flow
Tantric: Mourning
Avril Lavigne: Slipped Away
Maroon 5: She Will Be Loved
Bruce Springsteen: Long Walk Home
Tantric: I Don't Care
Theory of a Deadman: By The Way
Hinder: How Long
Avril Lavigne: Fall To Pieces
James Blunt: High
Staind: All I Want
Staind: Tangled Up In You
Theory of a Deadman: Since You've Been Gone
Tantric: Breakdown
Joshua Radin: What If You
Evanescence: Bring Me To Life
Theory of a Deadman: Wait For Me
Hinder: Shoulda
Staind: Believe
James Blunt: Goodbye My Lover
Peter Gabriel: In Your Eyes
Theory of a Deadman: Say Goodbye
Staind: Cross To Bear
Bruce Springsteen: World's Apart
Staind: Please
Evanescence: Taking Over Me

There are a couple more songs that I think are going to make it to my playlist, but this is what I've collected so far. What do you think?

music, music

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 13:06:00 +0000

Okay, so my friend sent me ~~3 million~~ 46 Bruce Springsteen songs and I've listened to them all and can honestly say, I really love most of what I heard. (But don't tell him that, because he was being mean to me and I'm pouting now and will not admit to him that I like any of the songs because he should be punished) There are several songs that will become instant 'replay' songs for me. (If I actually liked them, which I don't.) There are very few songs that he sent that I didn't like. (I didn't like any of them. I mean it. For real.)Actually most I really liked...loved even. (that's a lie. A total fabrication.) Some of them I really got. Like with chill bumps and throat lumps and heart thumps. (again, I'm lying. Don't know where that came from at all. Obviously, I do write fiction, because I'm making all that up.)

I love discovering new music that I totally get. Especially unexpected music. I never imagined I would ever respond to Bruce Springsteen that way. (which I didn't) Ever. So it was a nice surprise that I felt a physical reaction to some of his songs. (physical as in stomach pain? that must be what I mean.)

Still...nothing gets me like Staind. And I had been wanting the new Staind CD for months...so I finally ordered it as my first reward CD for losing weight.

Holy shit I love this CD. Honestly, it amazes me how this band can put words to music and just affect me the way they do. Heart racing, eyes tearing, breath catching...all of it. I love this CD. I love it with a thousand ♥. I can honestly say this is my favorite band ever. Now I must see them live. I already loved 2 songs from this CD, Believe and All I Want...and now, even though I love the whole CD, there's another song that will rival Please and It's Been Awhile from their older stuff...Tangled Up In You. Wow. I totally love this song. Makes my heart hurt a little.

Am I the only one who is affected by music this way?

Here's the song...just listen, the video is just the album cover, so you don't really have to watch. Just listen. Seriously, I ♥ this song. I ♥ Staind. And I ♥ Bruce Springsteen. (I'm lying) Who knew I had it in me?

I'm also at Fictionistas today talking about people who deserve to be tasered on the spot. Stop by!

Oh, and I went to the gym at 5:00 AM this morning. Yes, it's true. I really did.

my blogging type

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 16:38:00 +0000

Stole this from Crystal... totally think the quiz nailed me. I like getting nailed. LMAO The only thing it got wrong was careful who I share it with. Seriously, everyone should read me. LOL!

Your Blogging Type is Artistic and Passionate

You see your blog as the ultimate personal expression - and work hard to make it great.

One moment you may be working on a new dramatic design for your blog...

And the next, you're passionately writing about your pet causes.

Your blog is very important - and you're careful about who you share it with.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

sunday morning

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 13:22:00 +0000

*crickets*

Yeah, I pretty much got nuttin'.

Am head down working today. Will go to the gym at some point. I start a part-time job tomorrow, so I have to really focus on writing when I'm at home.

Y'all have a good one. Meanwhile, I'll continue to enjoy my new music and write. See y'all tomorrow!

✌

gabrielle loves me

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 20:19:00 +0000

She even dedicated a whole blog to me. Well, to me and The Boss. And the Traveling Wilburys. But mostly to me, because that's the way I choose to see it. I like looking at things through Mel colored glasses. Everyone should get a pair.

Go see what she's saying. Who knew me receiving the testimony that is Bruce Springsteen would evoke such passion? I've apparently been missing out. I ♥ my friends.

music to my ears

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 12:39:00 +0000

It used to be that I hated mornings. It was physically painful to open an eye and pull off the covers. Just five more minutes was my mantra. Sometimes, if I had to pee bad enough, I'd run to the bathroom, take care of business and jump back into bed.

I've discovered lately that this is my favorite time of the day. It's hauntingly quiet, which is very unusual for this house--and a very welcome sound. Lately I've been rolling out of bed somewhere between 4 AM and 6 AM. And sure, I struggle at first to wake up, but once I do, Sally bar the door. (Okay, does anyone know who this Sally person is and why she was picked to bar the door in that cliche? Just curious)

After coffee is ready, I'll sit down to blog. Pop onto Facebook and Twitter. Check email. Check my overnight stats (there are some naughty googlers out there late at night. And loads of people looking to become a MILF. That's my goal. Y'all need to just stay away. There's only room for one future MILF in the blogosphere, and that bitch is me. Just sayin'.) Anyway, I take care of the incidentals before I start working. I plug in my headphones, pick out the music for the day, or for the moment, or for the scene and get going.

Speaking of music, I received 3 CDs in the mail yesterday. I have a friend who is a huge Bruce Springsteen fan and I've honestly never cared one way or another for the Boss. There were a couple of songs of his that I always liked, but he was never an artist that I followed. Well, I suppose that must've been blasphemous to the Boss Addict so he sent me 3 CDs with 46 songs on them. (that's a lot of songs btw. And he says he has 250! Holy Crapoly! THAT's a lot of songs by one artist.)

I listened all day as I wrote. There were a couple of songs that really grabbed me. That were very powerful. Some that left me feeling very sad. Some that were just okay. But over all, the CDs were a big Win in my book. Except for the song That. Would. Not. End. 16 minutes was just a little much for me. (Sorry, A. Just too much for my busy little brain.)It was a live performance and Springsteen did a little preaching to the audience. Sure it was about Sexual Healing and possibly even a Naughty River, but let me tell ya, it still felt like a tent revival. But the first 5 minutes of the song was good. You know, the part where he was actually singing? Yeah, I liked that part.

Today, I'm going to have another listen to the songs I really liked. (I do that. I'm totally a Repeat Offender. I have no trouble listening to 1 song for hours. I know, you want to shoot me. Sorry.) There are a couple I think will fit nicely into my LOVE SUCKS! playlist. Which is good, since today is all about the writing.

Happy Saturday! You got plans?

ETA:
Today's card from the Universe

2 posts! 2 days in a row!

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 21:04:00 +0000

It's bonus Friday here at Mel-O-Drama. Don't you feel lucky?

Gwen posted this over at Fictionistas this morning and I thought it was so fun, I ~~stole~~ borrowed it.

60 Questions People Don't Ask from Quizopolis.com

When's the last time you ran? - today: 3.5 miles
Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? -not anymore. but in the 80s and 90s...yes. HELL YES. Maybe I'll bring that back for 2009.
What are you dreading right now? - deadline
Do you celebrate 420? - No (I should get bonus points for knowing what 420 is...I didn't until about 6 months ago. LOL)
Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? - not lately.
If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would y'all do? - tell them to come in and please ignore the fraternity decor we have going on. Oh and please ignore the hairballs. (btw, most days are "lazy days")
Who last grabbed your butt? - New Year's Eve everyone grabbed my butt. It's all blended into one big butt grabbing orgy, so I really don't know.
Have you ever been on your school's track team? - yes
Do you own a pair of Converse? -yes. Pink. Signed by members of Cheap Trick. Yes, I am awesome.
Did you copy and paste this survey? - Yes
Do you eat raw cookie dough? - yes
Have you ever kicked a vending machine? - Yes
Don't you hate it when the radio ruins good songs by playing them over and over? - No. Because if the radio doesn't do that, I do. I'm a repeat offender.
Do you watch Trading Spaces? - Is that still on?
How do you eat oreos? - Double-Stuf only and Center first.
Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone? - Who me?
Are you cocky? - duh.
Could you live without a computer? - No. Well technically yes, but WHY WOULD I WANT TO?
Do you wear your shoes in the house? - flip flops or big fuzzy slippers.
Who or what sleeps with you? - depends on the night. Every night the pug. a few nights a week the pug and the husband (depends on work) and every once in a while, a cat.
At what age did you find out that Santa wasn't real? - 5th grade. Shut up. I was naive.
How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house? - 3 cell phones, 4 cordless phones for 1 landline number
What do you do when you're sad? - I used to eat. Now I go to the gym. If I need to cry, I watch a tear jerker.
Who would you call first if you won the lottery? BFF
Last time you saw your best friend? I have 2 Best Friends. I saw my one from high school just the other day, my adult bff, I saw in August.
Are you in high school? - no. Though some would beg to differ if you're talking maturity.
What jewelry are you wearing? - wedding band
Is anyone on your bad side now? - someone is always on my bad side.
What's the first thing you do when you get online? - check my email then blog
Do you watch Grey's Anatomy? -Yes, especially now that Kevin McKidd has joined the cast. It can continue to be a suckfest as long as he's there for me to watch.
How do most people spell your name? -Mellisa (seriously, it's 1 L 2 S)
Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes? - so this is a sore point for me. remember that cute claire danes gap commercial where she would put on the boyfriend pant? I so wanted to be able to do that. However, I have hips. And will probably never be able to wear the boyfriend pant. But yes, I would if I could. I do love wearing men's button downs.
Where do you work? - write at home, and starting Monday, part-time accounting for a power company
What are you doing tomorrow? - writing
Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson? - God I hope not. I ♥ JT
Favorite name for a girl? - Zoe
Favorite name for a boy? - besides Ian and Rader? Quinn
Will you/Did you keep your last name when you get married? - It's my middle name now.
When was the last time you left your house? - this morning
Do you return your cart? - I always put it in the cart return. People who don't return their carts should be open targets for running over. Or tasered. (stay tuned for a new blog topic)
Do you have a dishwasher? -Yes.
What noise do you hear? - a snoring pug
Would you survive in prison? - I would not only survive, I would take over and make that bitch mine.
Who is the youngest in your family? - Rader is the youngest human. Ruby is the youngest animal.
If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would most likey overpack? - Me. Even though I know I'm only going to wear a few things, and 1 pair of shoes, I can't seem to stop myself from packing 'just in case' items.
Do you know anyone with the same name as you? Yes.
What's the last thing you purchased? a new outfit 1 SIZE SMALLER!
Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you? No
What brand are your pants right now? - um. mens oversized PJ pants?
Ever been to Georgia (the state)? - yes
What irritates you most on the internet? - when I'm online and want to play (read as procrastinating) and nobody else is around.
What brand is your digital camera? - Panasonic
Do you watch movies with your parents? - not very often. Never with Dad.
What song best describes your life right now? - Everything Changes--STAIND
Do you own expensive perfume/cologne? - no
Are you taking college classes right now? - no
Do you like sushi? -no. it's a texture thing
Do you get your hair cut every month? - every 8 weeks
Do you go online everyday? -um. yeah. If I could be online while I sleep I would be. And in the shower. Also, I pretty much sleep with crackberry, too. I know. it's a sickness.

comfort food

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 12:22:00 +0000

So did everyone eat their black-eyed peas and collard greens with ham and cornbread yesterday? That's a huge southern tradition. "Eat poor on New Years, eat fat the rest of the year."

I haven't made that meal myself, but my mother makes it every year, without fail. She called me yesterday and admonished me (as she does every year) but I told her I was making my own traditions--which included me not cooking.

Food has always been a source of comfort for me, which is why I have always turned to it in times of emotional turmoil. Eating good food makes me feel better. Period. Now I'm trying to replace that with seventeen-million hours of exercise a week. Sure, I feel good, but damn if I don't just want to fall into a big batch of biscuits and gravy.

Some of my favorite comfort foods growing up were (and still are)

biscuits and gravy
fried apple pie (my Mema lived with us for 9 years, this was our after school snack almost every day. It was a seriously good thing I was an athlete)
smothered steak
salmon patties
mashed potatoes
fried fish, hush puppies and french fries

Every food listed is accompanied with a great memory. And it is still so tempting to fry a mess of fish, etc when I'm feeling low. Because I was never happier as a kid, than the 2 weeks out of the summer I was at the lake with my daddy: camping, fishing, reading, swimming and flirting with all the boys. I was almost always the only girl there. It was awesome. Also, it was the only time I had my daddy's undivided attention, which was also awesome.

My favorite memory associated with smothered steak has to do with venison. I hate venison. Have never liked it. And everyone always says it's because the person who fixed it for me didn't prepare it right. All that means is that obviously nobody can fix it cuz I still don't like it. Well, my Mema decided I would like it if I didn't know it was venison. So she made me smothered venison steak and didn't tell me. I came home after a basketball game, starving to death. She had my plate already fixed and I sat down to eat it. I nearly threw it up on the spot. It tasted awful but I didn't know why. Now, I didn't wanna hurt my Mema's feelings so when she left the kitchen, I dumped it all into the trash. She came back in and was as giddy as a school girl. She confessed her deed to me with a giggle and claimed victory! I sighed a huge relief and said, "Mema, I just didn't wanna hurt your feelings. It was the worst thing I ever ate." Then I pulled out the trash can and showed her. I had finally convinced someone that I did not, nor would I ever, like venison.

What are some of your favorite comfort foods and why? Are they associated with a specific memory?

The Universe has been on fire lately. I'm totally digging the dude right now.

Melissa, today, be the person of your dreams.

See life through THEIR eyes.

Make decisions with THEIR mind.

Let every thought, word, and action come from THEIR perspective, as if you had already arrived, and just watch how 2009 warps into the kind of year you talk and laugh about forever and ever and ever...

Peace, love, and green M&Ms -
The Universe

He even knows I love green M&Ms!

Day the 1st, post the 2nd

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 20:14:00 +0000

Was browsing The Universe this morning, saw this, and wanted to share.

2009: Day the 1st

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 13:13:00 +0000

Wish I had something witty to say, you know, so we can start the year off right. But nothing's coming to mind. Could be because I was up past 2:00 and the coffee hasn't kicked in yet.

Hope everyone had a safe and happy night and that you were able to ring in the New Year with the people most dear to you.

I know everyone posts their New Year's Resolutions, but I'm not really gonna do that. Barbara Samuel suggests that you think of three words to describe the previous year, and three to describe the coming. So I'm going to give that a try.

2008
disconnected
unfocused
challenging

2009
centered
bright
determined

Here are the things I plan to accomplish this year. Not resolutions.

Be a better mother
Be a more disciplined writer
Run the 10K and keep training for a half-marathon
Get a tattoo for my 40th birthday
Laugh every day at least once

What words did you pick? Did you make resolutions or are you refusing?

ETA today's note from The Universe:

Dearest Melissa, I was about to wish that your every dream for 2009 come true. That you find yourself surrounded by friends, laughter, and good times. I almost wished that your every cup runneth over financially, romantically, spiritually, and creatively. That good health be your faithful companion, peace your guarded ally, and love your perpetual guide. When suddenly, it dawned on me that as an infinite, powerful, fun-loving gladiator of the Universe, with eternity before you and the power of your thoughts to help shape it... it's you Melissa Francis, who will be granting wishes this year.

10...9...8...7...6...
The Universe

I totally dig The Universe...just so you know.

Happy New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 01:58:00 +0000

From one ~~Naughty Librarian~~ I mean, ~~MILF,~~ writer to all of you, have a safe, fun and happy new year. Tomorrow is another day...and I can't wait.

giving equal time to the dads

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 13:22:00 +0000

I've been commanded to give equal time to the DILF. My friend figured if I can use his conversation as a starting point for a blog, then that gives him the right to demand a blog topic. He also says it's in the friendship guidelines, but he's wrong. I wrote those guidelines, so I know.

I hated to break it to the poor chap, but there is no such thing as a DILF. Teen girls look at all dads and see...well, dads. And that's a big EWWWWWW. Girls don't see the value in the hot older guy until they hit about 25. Then they wake up. And yes, I am fully aware it's a double standard. 18 year old boys look at hot moms and see boobs. That's all their hormonal eyes will let them see. Sorry, Dads. It's not fair. You'll just have to act out your school girl fantasies with the over 20 crowd.

Sadly, I did give away one of the sacred secrets of all womanhood. I have to beg the women of the internetz for forgiveness for breaking the vagina code. I told him about the DID list.

Dad I'd Do

And DID is not a list passed around by horny teens. No. This would be the secret list that every horny PTA mom, soccer mom, homeroom mom, and carpool mom has tabulated.

Yes, there is such a thing as a "Dad I'd Do" list. And now I've broken the vagina code and spilled the beans.

Women of the internetz, will I be forgiven?

And go ahead and confess it...you have a DID list...

achieving MILF status the SMART way

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 13:30:00 +0000

Everyone knows one of my goals in life is to be Stifler's Mom aka a MILF.

Last night, I was asked how I would know when I reached MILF status and I said, "I don't have a clue, but surely I'll get there."

His response: "You need SMART goals for your MILF ambitions."

WTF? SMART goals?

Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bound

Okay, that's just a little too sciencey for me and my goal of becoming a cougar. So I said, "That's so sciencey. Can't I just know when I get there?"

"How will you know? When one of your kids' friends slaps you on the tushy?" (and yes, he said tushy. I thought about changing it to ass but decided to leave it in there because that's funny as shit.)

LMAO. Yes, that's exactly how I will know. Or when I read a text message that says, "Dude, your mom is hot."

Instant MILF.

But his suggestion got me to thinking, is there a way to develop Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound goals for becoming a MILF?

C'mon gang! Let's explore!

Specific: Well, that's easy. I wanna be a MILF. I'm already the equivalent of a naughty librarian which is hot, but not my ultimate goal. So there's the specific. Or does he mean I need to achieve specific objectives in order to become a MILF? See? too Sciencey. Dammit. Can you guys give me some specific objectives? I'm all out of ideas.
Measurable: Um. Is there a certain number of teenage boys that need to be lured by my siren song before it counts? I'm not really sure how to measure this.
Achievable: Yes. (LOL that's funny. I just made myself snort)
Realistic: Again, Yes. (see above comment about snorting)
Time-bound: ASAP. Okay, well theoretically, I've got time. I have 2 sons. So if I can't achieve MILFiness in 4 years, I have another 4 to try. But my guess is I will achieve much sooner than that. Because really? As stated, I'm already a Naughty Librarian. Surely MILF isn't that far away.

So what do you think? Is it possible to apply science to such an unscientific goal? Is there such a thing as over-thinking?(yes)

How do you think I'll know when I've achieved MILF. Will I ever know?

Taking bets now--will I EVER make it to MILF?

more hot librarian: this time with video!

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 23:29:00 +0000

My ~~stalker~~ friend, jimmy the k, read my blog this morning and sent me the most appropriate song lyrics. Of course, I had to track down the song immediately. I found a live video on youtube. Here are the lyrics, video below. :) I'm kinda digging this librarian thing.

"Librarian" by My Morning Jacket
[Songwriters: Olliges Jr, James Edward]

Walk across the courtyard, towards the library.
I can hear the insects buzz and the leaves 'neath my feet...

Ramble up the stairwell, into the hall of books...
Since we got the interweb these hardly get used.

Duck into the men's room... combing thru my hair...
When god gave us mirrors he had no idea...

Looking for a lesson in the periodicals...
There I spy you listening to the AM radio...

Karen of the carpenters- singing in the rain...
Another lovely victim of the mirror's evil way.

It's not like you're not trying, with a pencil in your hair
To defy the beauty the good lord put in there...

Simple little bookworm- buried underneath...
Is the sexiest librarian... take off those glasses and let down your hair for me.

So I watch you thru the bookcase- imagining a scene:
You and I at dinner, spending time, then to sleep.

And what then would I say to you- lying there in bed?
These words, with a kiss, I would plant in your head:

"What is it inside our heads that makes us do the opposite?
Makes us do the opposite of what's right for us?
Cause everything'd be grrreat... and everything'd be good...
If everybody gave... like everybody could."

Sweetest little bookworm. hidden underneath...
Is the sexiest librarian...
Take off those glasses and let your hair down for me.
Take off those glasses and let your hair down for me.

Simple little beauty- heaven in your breath.
The simplest of pleasures- the world at it's best.

the bad boy equivalent?

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 13:05:00 +0000

I love a bad boy. We know that. I've blogged about it several times. From the books I read to the shows I watch, I am always drawn to the emotionally walled off, and cocky bad boy. (Hello, LOST fans? Team Sawyer! Jack's a ~~pussy~~ weenie.)And now that Kevin McKidd is on Grey's Anatomy--yum. He's the only reason to keep watching. He's all of the above PLUS he's a ginger!

These are the men that make fantasizing more fun.

Today, I'm going to talk about a different fantasy--The Naughty Librarian. Is this the male "bad boy" equivalent? Did ~~Sarah Palin~~ Tina Fey bring out this fantasy for nearly every man in America?

I only ask this because I've been told by several people since I've darkened my hair, that with my glasses on, I look like the "hot" or "naughty" librarian. Now, I'm not complaining. I totally dig that. Calling me a Naughty Librarian is one step closer to my ultimate goal of being Stifler's Mom.

So what is the obsession with the naughty librarians? I get the school girl fantasy--sorry, I don't think I'll ever be able to pull that one off. Is it the glasses? The shushing? The fact that if you do it in a library you have to be quiet? The authority figure thing? What makes the Naughty Librarian such a turn on?

I'm also talking about Sports Movies over at Fictionistas today. Click the banner and stop by!

Today's note from the Universe:

2009, Melissa, will not be just another year.

It's the absolute richest I've ever imagined, with the most possibilities I've ever created, for the coolest people I've ever known, to do the greatest things that have ever been done.

Don't feel any pressure.

Let's do this,
The Universe

I have a very good feeling The Universe has this one right.

conversations

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 14:51:00 +0000

I love blogging. I always try to do it first thing in the morning, before I've had time to really wake up. I blog about whatever pops into my head and I rarely preplan. Preplanning makes it feel more like an essay and less like a conversation.

(though I will admit to preplanning for tomorrow. I have a busy day and wasn't sure if I'd be able to fit it all in! And I hate missing Monday blogs.)

Blogging really fulfills the social butterfly part of my life. I need communication, attention (surprised?), stimulation, and challenges. And laughter. I need a lot of laughter. And sometimes, I crack myself up and I have to tell someone who will appreciate it.

So I tell the Universe. Cuz surely someone out there gets me.

That's actually a pretty cool feeling. Knowing that no matter what I say, someone out there will get it. They'll relate to it, laugh at it, shake their head...whatever. They'll get it. They'll get me. And this will keep me from having Schizophrenic Conversations inside my own head. :) (I bet I could work a Staind song into every blog post if I wanted to. LOL)

Some people think of blogging as a marketing tool--they don't enjoy it. They do it because they want to promote their work. Even if I had nothing to promote, I think I would keep blogging. It keeps my mind mostly clutter free. (Okay, that's not true, but maybe one day it will be).

where virtual meets reality

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 13:29:00 +0000

I love the internet. I've actually made some of my really good friends online. Between email, blogging twittering, online writing groups and now FACEBOOK I am online constantly. Good thing I can multitask...

Facebook is a funny creature. I've found a lot of friends, old and new on FB. I enjoy reading status updates, hi-jacking comment threads, ~~stalking~~ spying quietly a few people that I like to know about but don't necessarily want to interact with all the time.

Enter yesterday. I get a message from a 'new' FB friend asking if I have wireless internet. Now, I've never met this FB friend face-to-face before, but he's best friends with a good friend of mine, so I didn't think anything about it. Pat is a Psychiatrist and he was in town visiting his wife's family. Apparently his in-laws are still on dial up and Pat needed to refil some prescriptions for a couple of patients. He went to Starbucks but couldn't get logged on. So he contacted me.

And then my virtual world became reality. LOL

It was good to meet him. Nice guy. Apparently he reads my blog. LOL That's two people in a week that I'd never met before who read my blog. That's kinda cool. We had a good time chatting. He told me a few stories about our mutual friend, packed up his stuff and headed back to Camp In-Laws.

What did we do before cell phones and social networking? Does anyone remember actually holding a real conversation?

Have a good weekend, y'all! Any big plans?

back to the grindstone

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 13:19:00 +0000

We had a lovely, low key day with the family yesterday. But now Christmas is over and it's time to get back to business.

I have 1 month to finish LOVE SUCKS! so that's my main focus. I'll be going to the gym today, so don't forget to check out my Fat Chicks blog this afternoon. I have 3.5 months to shed a billion-katrillion pounds and get fit, so I can't miss any workouts between now and then!

How was your holiday? I hope you all had a day filled with whatever you enjoy most and I really hope Santa was very good to you, even if you were naughty. :)

A Christmas Poem for Feisty

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 00:43:00 +0000

Y'all know Lillian Feisty, right? She's my friend and she's quite naughty. Some of the things that come out of her mouth (literally and figuratively) are quite shocking. But I am a good friend who is totally up to the task of Feisty. Last night we were chatting and she had a request. For Christmas, I had to write her a naughty story that included Bourbon, Irish Cream, sheep, astronauts, and Fishdog tied to a chair. I think I accomplished it... Be warned. It is naughty. Though I will admit, it was much naughtier last night when I was drinking. LOL I toned it down some this morning because, well, I'm a chicken when I'm not fueled by liquid gold. ;) (and no, I did not save the orginal version. On purpose.)

-------------------------
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
not a creature was stirring
except a sweet ginger mouse.

The stockings were tied to the chimney with care
And Fishdog was tied to a kitchen chair.
The children away with the babysitter
And visions of Feisty hit Fishdog like a flair.

Feisty in her corset
and I in my socks
Had just settled in
to watch Dick in a Box.

When out on the lawn
arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch,
to see what was the matter.

Away to the window
I flew in a flash
tore open the shutters
and ripped off my sash

The moon made my breasts
seem fresh as new snow
Their brightness lit the way
For 8 tiny sheep and a sex-toy laden sleigh.

The driver eyed me with appreciation
as he disembarked and demanded a bourbon
He rubbed his goatee, and with a cocky smile said
"You look like you are ready for bed."

What choice did I have
but to invite him inside
He brought his bag of goodies
and Feisty's eyes went wide.

"Oh my," she sighed
as she fixed an Irish Cream
"I'm just missing one thing
To make this a true dream".

"Your wish is my command,"
Our visitor replied.
And Feisty giggled when she said
"Astronauts make me warm inside."

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head
I knew I had nothing to dread
The magic bag opened and what should appear
Astronauts dressed in full space gear.

With a squeal of delight, Feisty grabbed their hands
and tied them to chairs with strong leather bands
Our visitor turned to me asking
"What is your command?"

I spoke not a word but he figured me out
when the magical mist covered us in a shroud
When the fog lifted, my heart sighed
As we lay on the beach watching the sunrise

It didn't take long for the dream to end
When I woke the next morning Feisty was spent
Of last night's debauchery
there was not a hint

As I laid in my bed I heard a low rumble
It was a sexy laugh that made my heart fumble
the voice was so quiet I almost missed it
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good tumble.
---------------

Hope you all got a good tumble for Christmas. Much love and happy holidays to everyone.

survey says?

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 13:35:00 +0000

I'm a stud.

But we all knew that, didn't we?

It was a resounding landslide in the hoop or stud nose-ring question. I still kinda dig the hoop but even if it was a landslide the other way, I wouldn't be keeping it in. It feels like a feather tickling my nose. I'll still pull the hoop out and wear it every once in a while, but the stud is going back in.

It is Christmas Eve! I hope everyone has a great day. It's raining here, so my plan is to go to the gym then hunker in for some writing and wrapping. (not to be confused with rapping. Nobody wants to see that, I promise)

Happy Holidays to all my blog readers, friends, family, and secret pretend boyfriends. (Could somebody tell Matt Damon I'm going to have to call the police if he shows up at my door in Santa underwear and hat again?)

help me decide

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 20:17:00 +0000

Nose ring: yes or no?

Do I go back to the diamond stud?

commercials

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 13:42:00 +0000

If you've read my blog for a while, you know I tend to have strong reactions to commercials. Especially bad ones.

I am commercially sensitive. I don't like the Big Headed King, Levi's Mannequin, or promiscuous chocolate.

I love the Mac vs. PC commercials, became obsessed with this commercial cuz it choked me up every time it came on. Every single time. I just rewatched it and it choked me up again. I even tracked down the artist and bought the album. (Fantastic album, btw) And then there was Tim Gunn's "I Love Hats!" commercial. Precious.

Since I tivo a lot now, I miss the commercials. Which is a good thing, except that I'm finding I really MISS the commercials. Some of them, anyway.

I've been watching 'real-time' tv this week, and have been disappointed in the commercials. Only 1 has treally struck me and that's this one with Charlize Theron. She's gorgeous and this commercial is very sexy. But it doesn't rank anywhere close to the diamond necklace one from last year. Still my fave.

Any good commercials that I've missed? I've seen the JCP Doghouse commercial online, it was very funny, but it doesn't count. What else is out there?

happy monday!

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 12:55:00 +0000

It is a happy Monday for me. I slept again last night! Whoohoo!

I'm blogging about rewards over at Fat Chicks Running and I'm blogging about myself over at Fictionistas.

That's it for today. At least for right now. I've got a busy day, so I'll probably be twittering via my phone here and there, but no more blogging. Of course, you know as well as I do that can change...

Love y'all. Mean it.

happy sunday morning

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 13:42:00 +0000

I actually blogged over at Fat Chicks Running this morning. I don't often do Sunday blogs, so you better not miss out!

How's your weekend been so far? Fishdog and I have a party to go to this afternoon and another one on Tuesday. Aren't we just the social butterflies? I was so tired yesterday after the week of cleaning and Friday night's throw down, so I just chilled. Went to lunch with some writing friends, ran carpool, went to the gym, came home and had wine for dinner. Oh yeah, it was great. Also watched a few of movies that always make me feel good. 16 Candles, Elf, and The Wedding Planner. I was asleep by 10:00 and am thrilled to announce, I pretty much slept through the night.

Yay me!

Have a happy Sunday, y'all! See ya mañana!

the party's over--but we have pics!

noreply@blogger.com (Mel Francis) — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 13:53:00 +0000

You know how I know I'm getting old? I can't seem to sleep past 6:30 a.m. no matter what time I go to bed. Hmph.

So last night, we had a combo birthday-party-slash-reunion-slash-holiday gathering at Chez Francis. Fishdog invited loads of his friends from elementary and high school as well as our regular peeps.

It was a fun night. I was exhausted by the time it was over, and kicked folks out around 1:00. (sorry guys. You were welcome to stay--Fishdog was up for a while, so you could've kept him company. but my tired ass was ready for some zzzzzz's)

Favorite part of the night? Meeting an old friend of Fishdog's, who is an artist living in Paris, who also reads my blog. He entered the house like a whirling dervish, all energy and smiles. And as soon as Fishdog introduced us, Marcus hugged me and said (exclaimed with gusto), "I read you blog! So when do we get to the boob shots?" Ah yes. the cleavage shots. I love being famous for my 'Who's Tits Are These' pics from conferences and parties. LOL!

You'll be sad to know, there were no cleavage shots last night. Sorry guys. There were children present. Even I have a small amount of dignity.

Anyway, Marcus is awesome and I wanted to wrap him up and put him under my tree for Christmas. Please Mom? Can I keep him? Please check his website out, he's a very talented artist and really an amazing guy. Also, he was the only one at the party last night who could claim to have a tall, dark and handsome French boyfriend. (I saw pictures. Trust me when I say tall, dark and handsome.) I wanted to hate him a little for that, but his charm and energy won me over. (And Gabrielle, if you ever get a chance to meet Marcus, I give you permission to play with him, but you do not get to keep him all to yourself. I heart him.) I'm still trying to figure out how I can convince him to let me wrap him up and open him for Christmas...

I think a good time was had by all. Pics below--why don't you judge for yourself?